Amitabh Bachchan ka Maalik

This is when Amitabh Bachan got fit after his long illness.....

one fine morning he told his drvier "Arre bhai aaj Gaadi hum chalayenge..".driver, "Par saab aapki tabyat?.."amitabh "Aree meri tabyat thik ho gayi he, I am fit and fine...kya dance karke dikhau, dialogue, fighting kare dikhau.......

Hain"Ok then he starts driving the car very fast.... zoooooooooom breaks one red signal.........

breaks second red signal..........

breaks on more red signal...........

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Then a traffic hawaldar stops the car, tells the car to be sided to the road..Tells the driver to come out... "Chalo liscence dikhao, puc, gaadi ke kagjaaat..." Sees amitabh "are Amitabh Bachhan?!!!" he is verysuprised to see him.........

Then he quickly on wireless calls his senior officers...."Sir, aap jaldi yaha aye naake par..."Sir "KYun kya hua??" Havaldar: "Sir ek gaadi ne signal toda he aur maine us gaadi ko side me rakha he"Sir: "To phir?"hawaldar: "Sir, Us gaadi ka maalik bahut bada aadmi he sir .... mein uska challan nahi phaad sakta aap khud yaha aiye .." ............

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Sir "KON MAALIK HE US GAADI KA??"HAWALDAR : "WOH TO PATA NAHI SIR PAR USNE NA SIR ... AMITABH BACHHAN KO DRIVER RAKHA HE....".

THE PERFECT HUSBAND

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a golf club. After a round, showering and getting changed for the 19th hole.

Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:

(H - Husband, W - Wife)

H - "Hello ?"

W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club? "

H - "Yes."

W -"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful leather coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"

H -"What's the price?"

W - "Only $1,000."

H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."

W -"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2005 models. I saw one I really liked. It's a SLK model. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price. And since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year...

H - "What price did he quote you?"

W - "Only $65,000..."

H - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

W - "Great! But before we hang up, something else...

H -"What?"

W - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's for sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beach front property."

H - "How much are they asking?"

W - "Only $450,000 -- a magnificent price.. .and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."

H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid up to $420,000. OK?"

W - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"

H - " Bye...I love you too..."

The man hangs up & closes the phone's flap. The other men are looking at him in astonishment and derision. The husband raises his hand while holding the phone and asks " Does anyone know who this Cell phone belong to???"

SARDAR AGAIN

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
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Sardar at bar in New York .
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
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Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but? ?
how much is DRIVING salary...?
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Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at
night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light
is not needed!!!
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2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...
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Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post
office....
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A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??" (means "do you know tamil")
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
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2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
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A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating. ......
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A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the
exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father
in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE
FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
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Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. ..
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Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS..... ..
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Nirma

Shopkeeper:Oh ho Deepika ji , aaiye aaiye.
Kaun sa sabun lena pasand karengi.
Ye dekhiye ye..(Someother soap which is not nirma)

Deepika(Customer):Nahi Nahi ye nahi woh(pointing at nirma).

Shopkeeper:Par aap to woh, purana wala sabun....(stammering)

Deepika(Customer):Leti thi, par wahi safedi mujhe kam damo mein mile tokoiwoh kyun le, ye(nirma) na le!

Shopkeeper:Man gaye!!Deepika(Customer):Kise?

Shopkeeper:Aapki par ki nazar aur nirma super dono ko !!!

Now the song starts... ;-)

WASHING POWDER NIRMA

WASHING POWDER NIRMA

DUDH SE SAFEDI NIRMA SE AAYE

RANGEEN KAPDA BHI KHIL KHIL JAYE

SABKI PASAND NIRMA

WASHING POWDER NIRMA

NIRMA....... ......... ..


LOGO KO KUCH BHI BHEJO PADHNE LAG JATE HAIN........ kya yaar kab sudhroge...